Tuesday 26 October 2010

Life should be a Sophie Kinsella novel

I've always been a fan of 'Chick-Lit' as my mum so eloquently puts it, but it wasn't until recently that I found myself plowing through these light-hearted, funny, romantic novels, like I can't get enough of them. There's something so satisfying in reading a fictional story about someone else's perfect life.

The characters are normally quite plump, drink copious amounts of wine and make erratic decisions that I normally wouldn't dream of. Somehow, it always works out for them though. They dramatically quit their job and without so much of a panic attack, find themselves set up in a cushy new job, where they happen to coincidentally meet their perfect man. Each and every book, whatever the storyline, follows the same pattern. There's always a few problems, a big secret that isn't revealed until the moment when it might ruin her chances with Mr. Right, but you always know that it's going to end up the same way. Happily ever after.

If life were a Sophie Kinsella (author of the brilliant Shopaholic series) novel, then right now I should be bouncing back from my 'problem' and embarking on a frisson with the gardner, or moody landlord. Somehow, I don't see this happening - particularly as our gardner is my brother and my landlord is my mother! - but that doesn't mean to say that I can't have my happy ending. I'll just have to look further afield! I'm guessing it won't be as easily accomplished however and may take more than 300 pages, but let's hope I get there in the end.

Life after love can't exactly be a Sophie Kinsella novel, but there's nothing to stop me from trying!

Tuesday 19 October 2010

It's all about the hips

My best friend and I decided to go crazy last night. We ventured out of our comfort zone and into unknown territory as we stepped through the doors of a Working Men's Social Club. The smell of must greeted our nostrils and we couldn't help but notice the peeling wallpaper and 1970s retro light fittings along the bar front. There were others there too, but none looking so nervous - they had alcohol, maybe that was the key.

As we watched more people turn up, we realised that without a doubt we were going to be the youngest there. Not so bad, but quite amusing when paired up later on with a short, round (but incredibly happy) gentleman in his mid-50s. We were made to rotate partners throughout the evening and I found myself wiggling my body alongside some very 'interesting' men, including Mr. Snake Hips. It took every ounce of my being to concentrate on my feet as he was very distracting!

It wasn't until I stood in front of the last gentleman who stared intently into my eyes, that I knew that this time was going to be perfect. He stood closer than the others and gently moved my hands around as we paced through our steps. 1, 2, 3..5, 6, 7...with him, I was Queen of the Salsa. As we moved our separate ways and I joined my next partner, I was relegated to more of a Princess role, but I knew my time with him would come again.

I wasn't sure how the evening would go, but I can honestly say that was one of the funnest things I've done in a while. Despite the age gaps, everyone was really friendly and both my friend and I agreed that we might actually make it a regular thing. Somehow, I don't forsee me meeting any potential new boyfriends there, but at least I'll know how to shake my hips when I do meet someone!

Life after love has been all about pushing boundaries and creating new experiences. I still relapse very occassionally, but hand on heart, I would never want to go back to life during love (at least, not with a certain you-know-who) as I've now got a pretty cool life. If I want to try something, then there's nothing to hold me back. Bring on the next challenge!

Monday 18 October 2010

Some of the nicest people you will every meet.

I haven't seen this guy in over a month, but the first thing he says to me is 'Your hair looks nice, have you had it done?'. Cue blushing red face! To illustrate my point, it took my ex around 20 minutes to notice the same thing!

I see a different couple of guys once a week and yes, some of them can be incredibly moody, but on the whole, most of them are pretty nice. Little bit of banter, few compliments (funnily enough generally followed by a request for a coffee) before I sign their slip of paper and off they go again. I don't have a favourite, but some of the guys can keep me smiling for the rest of the morning.

Who are they? They are the big, burly, mostly tattoo-covered drivers who deliver our beer at work. They've taught me not to judge a book by its cover and that, is what life after love is all about.

Monday 11 October 2010

This one's for you

They say it takes a tough time in your life for you to really discover who your friends are and although I always thought I knew, my recent 'blip' has only cemented this knowledge even more. It sounds so cheesy, but I'm incredibly proud to say that I am surrounded by some pretty amazing people in my life. However rough, depressing or just plain rubbish my life seems to get, I know that there's an amazing team on hand to help me up. People I never expected to come through so much have certainly surprised me the most and to them and my best friends, I owe a massive bundle of thanks.

It's because of these people that when I drove home today listening to Simple Plan's 'I'd Do Anything', I found myself crying out loud. The title of the song pretty much sums up the lyrics and it made me cringe that a mere 2 months ago, this would have epitomized the soundtrack to my life. 'I'd do anything just to hold you in my arms, to try to make you laugh, I can't put you in the past'...etc. I feel almost embarassed that I literally could have written this song for my own situation, but now as I found myself looking slightly crazy, driving along with the window down and a Simple Plan song unashamedly playing loudly, I can do nothing else but cry with laughter. I never thought I would change my tune, but the combination of amazing friends and copious amounts of wine, really work a trick!

Whether it's a crazy night out in town, a 'quiet night' down the pub, or a chilled night in with a numerous bottles of wine and 'Crocodile' on DVD (awful, but amazing...you can't go wrong!), these are the good times. I only hope one day I can return the favour - but at the same time, I also hope I don't have to either, if it means someone's got to get dumped! I love life after love, but I love my friends even more. This one's for you guys.

Thursday 7 October 2010

I am a strong, independant woman.

I mentioned this a while ago and after one thwarted attempt, I finally went to the cinema today and watched a film by myself. This sounds like a menial event that you wouldn't normally give a second thought to, but for me, it was a challenge. I am a social creature and don't tend to go places, or do things without someone else there - not to hold my hand, but to chat to and have a laugh with.

I was confident as I walked in and I didn't crumble as I brazenly asked the man selling tickets for 'just the one seat' for my film. He didn't smirk, or evenly looked remotely shocked that I was by myself (which I should know from my place of work - a cinema - but it's always different when it's actually you) and flattered me when he asked if I had a student card. Despite today being my 24th birthday, apparently I still look like a teenager. Score!

I joined the 2 other single people in the auditorium. We all glanced around, almost nervously, at various points, as if to reassure ourselves that it's perfectly normal to go the cinema by yourself - other people do it to you know! I contemplated that this might perhaps be an ideal time to make new friends, use the excuse of the 'scary' film to strike up a conversation with a stranger. Unfortunately, there was possibly a reason why those 2 men were sitting in the dark by themselves. I instead snuck into a 'premiere' seat, which I hadn't paid for. I can be crazy when I want to be!

As the lights came up at the end of the film, I left pretty quickly. It's one thing to be sitting in the dark by yourself, but as soon as everyone can clearly see you, that's an entirely different matter. I missed not being able to discuss the film with anyone afterwards, but it was also great in so many ways. I didn't have to hang around whilst someone goes to the loo, wrestle over the middle arm rest, or fight to get a fair share of the drink and popcorn. Call me greedy, but I did enjoy not sharing for once.

I feel as though I've made a big fuss about nothing. Whenever I said to people 'ooh, I'm going to the cinema by myself', I was generally met with the response of 'and?'. Now that I've done it, I'm in agreement that I don't understand what the big deal is. Yes, you can easily feel like a bit of a loner who doesn't have any friends, but the cinema staff don't care (I can guarantee they've got more pressing issues to think about - such as where they should get their dinner from) and no one else really cares either! All in all, I've proved to myself that I can do things without someone being there. I won't go as far as going for a quiet drink by myself (that would just prove I'm an alcoholic) but if my friends aren't available, then there isn't anything to stop me from going out anyway.

If you had asked me this time last year what my life would be like now, I would have described something incredbily different to what it actually is. I'm now a strong believer that you can't predict the future (fate plays a role, but that can be interpreted in many different ways) and by our actions, we can choose the kind of life we want to lead. I've half way through Jane Austen's 'Northanger Abbey' and found the following passage which sums up my life at the moment -

'To be disgraced in the eye of the world, to wear the appearance of infamy while her heart is all purity, her actions all innocence and the misconduct of another the true source of her debasement, is one of those circumstances which peculiarly belong to the heroine's life, and her fortitude under it what particularly dignifies her character.'

I can be a heroine in a Jane Austen novel. What more in life can you need to know than that?! Call me sad, call me a dreamer, or you could call me hopeful. Life after love has opened my Pandora's box and there's no going back, not that I'd want to, let's face it!

Friday 1 October 2010

Effort!

Now that I'm single, my whole life has become all about possibilities. I don't just have to stay in of an evening, I could go out and do something exciting, where - who knows! - I could meet Mr Right. To prepare myself for this meeting, which could happen at any point, I'm now really aware of my appearance. Please don't get me wrong, I'm not vain, but it definately helps boost my confidence when I know that I'm looking good. I won't go as far as not leaving the house without make-up or if a single strand of hair is out of place, but wearing nice (clean) clothes is certainly a start!

I was a woman on a mission yesterday as I trawled through the local shopping centre in search of a new wardrobe. I loved the thought that I don't have anyone at home who's going to tell me off for spending too much money, or I'm going to have to hide purchases from. The only guilt trip I had was the little voice at the back of my head telling me I already have a top very like that, but that's easily ignored!

I spent time trying out the new bits and pieces of make-up I bought and was feeling all 'new' when I went for a drink with my best friend last night. She'd had a bad day and we found ourselves plowing through bottles of wine whilst she tried to flirt with the group of guys at the table next to us. I lost track of how much we drank, but I was so proud of myself as I realised again how far I've moved on with my life. The temptation to drunk text the ex didn't even cross my mind and it was reassuring to know that I wasn't wrong the other day when I realised that I don't love him anymore.

I don't remember leaving the pub, or saying goodbye to my friend, but I do remember falling over and grazing the whole left hand side of my face on the concrete pavement. I don't remember getting home from there, but I do remember being found on my front doorstep by my mum and younger brother, covered in blood. I can certainly say that I have never done that before! I don't intend on drinking that much alcohol again (although, I'm definately not certain about it!) and am gutted that I've ruined one of my favourite tops. Apologies have to go to my family who were needless to say, pretty shocked by my appearance!

There's no point in me spending time trying to look good if I'm going to end the night covered in blood. Not a very attractive look, I must say! Despite the downfall of last night, I did have a brilliant time. Life after love is fun, flirty and full of lots of new experiences. I wouldn't change it for the world!