Sex, Drugs and Sunbathing

I've just been flicking through a trashy magazine and seen Amsterdam advertised as a destination for a girly holiday. Had I not just returned from such a trip to the aforementioned place, then I would have been a little bit confused. Surely, Amsterdam's main appeal is the Red Light district, the legalisation of cannabis and the row upon row of bars that seem to line every single street? Stereotypically not very girly, but I suppose that's how much times have changed!

We have a friend who very thoughtfully moved to the Dam so that we could all go over and stay with him for a couple of days at a time. In return for our delightful company, he got the pleasure of showing us round and making sure we got on the right trams as we headed off to see the sites. Unfortunately he also had to work (let's face it, he needed a break!) so somehow the responsibility of 'mother' fell to me. I've got quite a good memory - take me anywhere once and I'll find my way back again - but it was interesting trying to find our way around a city where we don't speak the language and don't really have a clue as to where anything is. In London, the Eye, the Houses of Parliament, even Buckingham Palace stand out as landmarks, but in our case, Anne Frank's house and the Zoo, blended in somewhat. Everyone speaks English as well as Dutch, but there's something about not being too touristy and inept when you're on holiday. Eventually we got the hang of it and I'm still pretty impressed that despite drinking an unmentionable amount of alcohol, I managed to get us back to our hotel without so much as a wrong-turn!

It was great to have an insiders view into the city. We visited bars and restaurants that were down the back streets and not so touristy. I've never met so many friendly barmen in my life! Maybe it's the old English trick of matching your outlook with the weather, but they could certainly learn something from these guys. We also took a wander (how could you not?!) through Amsterdam's notorious Red Light district. I don't know what I'd imagined, but it was so much more. There seemed to be loads of tiny alleyways lined with shop windows and doors with half-naked women posing in them. The look of boredom and the amount that were playing with their phones was quite amusing! I don't normally, but being where we were, we also had a slice of space cake. I honestly didn't feel anything, but it was possible the best chocolate cake I've had in ages!

The weather was gorgeous and we spent a lot of time out in the sun. I know it was only a four day trip to Amsterdam, but it's always nice to come back from a holiday with a little bit of a tan! The stress of the pedallo was far too much, but otherwise it was amazing to have such a relaxed trip. I've still got two more holidays to come, but life after love is proving that it's all about friends and very, very good times.

Reality, with a pinch of melodramatics

Being single is like clinging onto a rock face, with no guide ropes or harness for support. You don’t want to let go and fall into inevitable doom, but you’re being battered from all directions by a harsh and unrelenting turbulence of questions. Why am I single? What’s wrong with me? Am I ever going to find anyone? What if I reach the age of 40 and I’ve still not found someone to spend my life with? Am I really going to end up a crazy cat lady?!

Occasionally you find respite in a crevice. In this new relationship you feel sheltered and safe. You are relaxed, happy and unconsciously try to forget the maelstrom you’ve just been pulled from. Sadly though, some things just don’t last and you find yourself thrust back out into the cold.

Things with the New Guy took a turn for the worse yesterday, when we both agreed that maybe now just isn’t the right time. He’s too busy with his new job and spends most of his spare time sleeping. I certainly don’t consider myself to be a high-maintenance sort of girl, but I do need some attention!

The moment when you know the relationship has to end, is always a hard one. I’m a bit of a coward and go out of my way to avoid awkward or confrontational situations. This means that I’ve never actually been the one to do the dumping. Some women may find this strange. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all up for empowered women who call the shots in their life, but I’m also quite wimpy when it comes to actually doing that. Fortunately, the New Guy and I were on the same wavelength and my procrastinating left him to say it out loud.

It hadn’t been long and we were only casual, but there’s still that strange feeling that the world has changed slightly since I went to bed the night before. It’s hard not to feel world-weary and disheartened at having to go through this all again, but I suppose that’s supposed to be the fun part, right? At least the timing was pretty spot-on, as I’m going on a short trip to Amsterdam with the girls, in a couple of days. Looks like life after love is back to being fun, free and single!

Gunfight at the O.K Corrale

I am grateful for many things in my life, including my amazing group of friends. Even now, they still know how to put a smile on my face, even after a really bad day. Due to the wonder that is a certain social networking site, they even know exactly who we might encounter on a night out!

I was planning on going to the pub with a couple of friends when it was brought to my attention that the ex and my replacement would also be in town that same night. This eventuality had to happen sooner or later and I was determined it wasn't going to affect me. It's been long enough now and I've got nothing to hide. A couple of hours before we went out however, I was updated by a friend that unfortuantely I wouldn't encounter my nemesis as she had other plans. I couldn't help but be slightly disappointed as it would have been nice to finally get this over and done with, but I also couldn't stop laughing. I mean, before the invention of Facebook, I didn't know nearly as much about people as I do now. Where they're going, what time, who they're with etc. It really is a stalker's paradise! Although, in this case I stand by the fact that the stalking was for a good cause!

We still bumped into the ex that night, which resulted in us actually having a really good chat. I'd had a fair amount of vodka already so was feeling pretty mellow by this point. If he did notice the New Guy sitting next to me, he didn't say anything. I hadn't spoken to him in a while so it was nice to catch up and find out how he's doing. I suprised myself however when I heard my voice asking how his new girlfriend was (and by her actual name too, which I rarely utter), which left him gobsmacked. He seemed momentarily taken aback and to be honest, I can't really blame him. In the past I haven't exactly been the nicest about her, yet here I was casually bringing her up in the conversation and not even so I could be rude about her!

For me, this was just another moment of realisation of just how far I've come. I'm genuinely not really bothered about either of them anymore. Sometimes it's still quite nice to have a heads up as to who's going to be around, but life after love is full of surprises and you just have to deal with them as they appear.