Monday, 27 June 2011

If I'm flying solo, at least I'm flying free!

This week sees me celebrating an anniversary of sorts. It's not one I've experienced in a long time, but I'm happy to say that it's a whole year of being single. As anyone who's read this from the beginning will understand, I was pretty gutted when things broke up with the ex and I would go as far as saying it was the single most horrific moment of my life. It took me a long time to get over him and bounce back to where I am today, none of which I would have been able to do without my friends. It's these people and the offers I've had over the past year which have turned things dramatically around and made it into one of the best years of my life so far.

To name but a few things, I've been kayaking, salsa dancing, burlesque dancing, to bingo, paraglyding, to Amsterdam & Turkey. I've been to the cinema by myself, dramatically restyled my hair (on numerous occasions now) and lost a little bit of weight at least. I'd dread to think how much alcohol I've consumed in the last year, but they've all been pretty damn good nights out and the memories and pictures still make me laugh. The night I face planted and bled everywhere is possibly an exception to this, but at least I can say I've done it once!

I'm still saying 'yes' to as many things as possible and my hectic social life proves that I don't spend much time sitting around doing nothing! I miss the days of cosy nights in, but I'm glad that I no longer miss out on everything else. I used to hate it when people would reminisce 'about the time we...' but I hadn't been there because I was trying to be good and save money for the wedding, or hadn't spent any quality time with the ex that week. At the time, those sacrifices were worth it, but now I'm glad that everything's changed.

Had things still be the way they were, in the next 3 months I would have put a deposit down on a house, taken on a mortgage and end up married to (as I know now) the wrong person. It seems crazy to think about the responsibility I was shouldering and my new and improved 3 month plan is far more appealing. Go to my friends weddings, have fun and appreciate the extra time that I now have, go sky diving and enjoy another holiday, but this time to Morocco. In the long term, I'm looking at going travelling for a couple of months next year. This is something that hasn't really appealed to me before, but I finally feel that the time is right and as I've learnt over the past year, you need to make your own memories.

I'm not trying to be a martyr and say that it's really easy to move on after a relationship ends. It took me a long, long time and a couple of weeks worth of medication to get my head around what had happened. I wasn't offered any closure or reasoning behind his actions, which really didn't help me at all. I was fortunate enough however to be surrounded by some amazing people and be given the best advice I've ever received. 'Just say yes to everything'. I live my life by this and the motto 'no regrets'. Without these, life after love could have been very different, but fortunately for me, I've landed on my feet and have no intention on ever looking back.

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