A good night out

I've discovered yet another regret. I went out for an early Christmas meal with a group of the ex's female friends last night and without wanting to sound really bland, had a really nice evening. What surprised me on the way home was the thought that if this had been the previous year, I would have gone, but I don't think I would have had quite as good a time. I can't pin point why, but it's just a sneaking suspicion I have.

I used to get on great with the guys, let's face it, that's not exactly a whole load of intellectual conversation you have to tax your brain with! The girls however were a tougher nut to crack and although I never felt left out or ignored, I guess I always felt like I was invited just because I was X's girlfriend. Since the split, I've been really chuffed to be invited out with them still and every time I go, I'm really glad I do. I suppose it's nice to feel that they actually want me there, it's not just a gesture.

The only weird thing with going out with girls slightly older than me is the moment when the conversation swings round to people's 'plans' (see, it's not just me!!). It's genuinely scary to hear someone announce that they're getting pregnant at the end of next year, so the baby will be born the year after. Now that's what I call organised! A fight then nearly broke out about which baby names had already been shotgunned and I actually felt relieved to be single and not really a participant in these kind of conversations anymore. If I'm learning anything throughout this whole process, it's that I have a shed load of time ahead of me and the most serious decision I have to make is whether to drink wine or vodka!

I regret not seeing things for what they actually were all along, but you can't change the past and the newfound optimist in me is all about the future. I know that inevitably my replacement will become part of this group too and to avoid any awkwardness it may be place to step away and relinquish any attachment I have, but in the meantime I love being included and let's face it, it's always a laugh!

Life during love can lose you friendships in some cases, but life after love is all about making them.