It's only been two and a half months since the split, but I'm starting to notice myself flirting more and more with any attractive men I encounter. It starts off with a girlish giggle, maybe a little hair flick, followed by large amounts of eye contact and smiling. I catch myself doing it and suddenly stop. I should feel guilty, it hasn't been that long! But just look at those beautiful blue eyes he has, that smile....
Then I realise exactly what I've got to go through all over again. Flirting, the texting, the insane paranoia that develops over the most stupid of things! 'He hasn't text me back yet, why not?' or ''He didn't put a kiss at the end of the text, but he did last time, what did I say?' I remember overanalysing every little detail in the beginnings of my previous relationships - and I know I'm not alone in this one - but god, do I really have to go through that again? I'd love to say 'no, I'll play it cool', but we all know that sadly, I probably won't.
A friend recently made a very interesting observation. She asked if during an innocent conversation with a man, he had gone out of his way to make a comment about his girlfriend. Sounds weird, I know, but even as she said it, it rang a few bells. It's like they feel guilty for even talking to another woman, so to make themselves feel better again, they mention their other half. That's fine if you were starting to giggle at his jokes, but if the conversation was about how your company recently reached their latest sales target, probably not!
With this new bit of information I realised that if I found a man attractive, then what's the harm in me having a little flirt with him? If he had a girlfriend, chances are that he's going to find a way to bring it up - unless he's one of..those..men - but if he didn't, then what have I got to lose? I've got to make things happen for myself, no one else is going to set me up on dates, so why not just go for it?
I then embarked on my first, single night out in town in a long, long time and loved every minute of it! I didn't have to worry about not making eye contact with someone of the opposite sex, or discourage their advances whilst trying to dance with my friends. I did the complete reverse and was very happy to find that other men find me attractive.
Greatest achievement that night - not texting the ex, telling him of my success and what he's missing out on. Temptation can be an absolute killer and if he had been a slice of cake, or bar of Galaxy, I may well have succumbed to his lure. Fortunately for me, he isn't and my phone stayed at the bottom of my bag whilst I enjoyed the rest of my evening.
I wonder now how I went for four years without a really good flirt. The confidence boost you can feel from one wink, or cheeky smile, is immense. If life after love is going to be like this, I think I'm going to have quite a bit of fun!
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