I'd like to say that in my absence from you I've been filling my time with wild parties, crazy drunken nights and spontaineous trips and plans with mates. Some of the previous have actually occurred but it's sad to say, that there's also been a lot of down time.
In the first six months following the split, I found myself caught up in a whirlwind of activity. I wanted to keep busy, stay distracted and obliterate as many of my memories as possible. As I've faced up to reality and the pace of life has started to slow down, I've begun falling into an anticlimax. I can't keep spending as much money as I was, on doing something different every night, so finding cheap/free alternatives has become my new challenge, which can ultimately leave me just staying in altogether. Great every now and again, but tedious if it happens too often.
My life isn't all bad however. I've got an abundance of time to focus on myself and what I want. Bit weird considering I'm used to wrapping my life around someone else, but when I eventually get past my lack of direction and make a decision, it's quite refreshing. Things with the new guy are still going well. Not really sure where we are, what the rules are etc but I'm loving the idea of it being very easygoing. I don't have to check in at a certain time, or alleviate my guilt by admitting to a cheeky little flirt with the delivery guy at work. I'm very conscious of not transferring the ex's downfalls onto this guy and I think I'm doing pretty well so far. Trust apparently is now a conscious decision, but I'm sure that'll improve with time.
Time flies by at the moment and with the various holidays/parties etc that I've got booked in over the next few months, it's going to go even quicker. I feel like I'm living life as if I'm already on the next week, but at least I know what I've got to look forward to. Before, I only had the wedding, but life after love has given me a whole lot more.
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